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Clare Wilson

Very interesting post. One additional point I just have to make is that the (currently allowed) adverts for follow-on milk do not contain any information about how to make it up, how to sterilise bottles etc. - they spend the entire 30 seconds portraying how beautiful and healthy your child will be if you use Brand X. So there's no reason to think that if adverts for formula were legalised they would be any different.

I do also want to ask why do you automatically equate bottles with non-breast-feeding even to the extent of vetoing baby cards that have bottles on them? My baby got a bottle of expressed breast milk at least once a day the whole time I breastfed.

Finally, in response to your question, about how health professionals can ask pregnant women "the question" in a sensitive manner, that is a hard one. For women who have already had their first baby, how about phrasing it as: "And how did the breastfeeding go the first time round? Do you think you'll need any help this time?"

Then again, maybe Emily is the best person to ask on this one...

V.

Well said and very well written.

Although not living in the UK and therefore not being submitted to exactly the same cultural environment about breastfeeding (much more common here in Switzerland), I completely agree with your take on formula advertising and the way it subtly shapes our minds, tricking us into thinking this is the "normal" way to go.

I was for instance quite disturbed to find samples of various formula brands in the "gift box" they give you at the hospital (here at any rate, don't know about in the UK). Of course the whole contents are only for marketing purposes, but what kind of message is being delivered here? I don't think it should be allowed either.

Being a breastfeeding mom myself, I was also amazed at how many comments I get to the effect of "when will you get her started on the bottle?" or, even better "Oh, that will sort itself out (insert here any small problem that may have arisen, specially if related to sleeping during night-time) when you get her on the bottle"... always "when", never "if"!

Last but not least, and I wish I had your talent to write about it: why is it that dolls, the ones that look like small babies, invariably come complete WITH a bottle? It may seem trivial, but it comes close to infuriating me. Talk about warping children's minds... Babies are NOT born with a bottle in hand. If you want or need one, buy it separately.

Clare Wilson

Well V., one thing that does infuriate me about the pro-breastfeeding campaigners is their refusal to acknowledge that formula DOES generally help babies sleep through the night more.

As for the dolls, they could hardly come with an accompanying breast...
Best wishes
Clare

Lucy

Oh I could also rant on this subject, I've started so many blog posts but none of them worded as well as yours. I was also going to mention the dolls that all come with bottle and dummy (and yes, I have heaps to say on why I didn't use dummies!), and how I think this plants seeds in the heads of the very young, in fact, some brands of dolls even come with disposable nappies!!! (Yeah okay, so I used disposables but still think they shouldn't be promoted) No, obviously dolls couldn't come with an accompanying breast but is it so wrong that both my children (yes, including my son) went through a stage of lifting their t-shirts up to breastfeed dolls? I found it really difficult explaining to my dd why our friends baby drank bottles instead of from Mummy. Hopefully I've planted the breastfeeding seed in my children.

I've come across so many debates and spent lots of time in breastfeeding support forums and I can't believe there are still so many myths about breastfeeding and breastmilk. I was astonished while on the maternity ward with my newborn (who had a tongue-tie, btw) to hear the young girl in the next bed tell the midwife on duty that she had tried breastfeeding in the labour suite but the baby wouldn't take to it so in the end (the end? the baby was only a few hours old!) she had to give formula because the baby was hungry.

I think the option of mixed feeding needs alot more talking about. So many people believe that it has to be one or the other and once you've given a bottle then you can no longer breastfeed. I think that is such a shame, the odd bottle in the first few days (whether formula or breastmilk) could make all the difference to the continuation of breastfeeding. I was expressing for both of mine by day three just to give my nipples a few hours rest and for the chance to unplug them from me and pass them to someone else for a couple of hours. I think the advice not to express or introduce bottles before six weeks is very damaging.

But I think the main issue that really needs to be dealt with is the whole guilt thing. If you genuinely believe that you do not have enough milk, or that your baby wasn't thriving or even if you just couldn't cope with the idea of breastfeeding and you formula feed because it is the absolute best thing you feel you can do for your child then why would you feel guilty? Guilt is reserved for people who have made a choice they feel is wrong. If the majority of Mums are bottle feeding their babies then why do they all feel guilty? Mums shouldn't be feeling guilt for doing what they believe is best for them, their families and their babies.

I think it is great that there are doctors who are pro-breastfeeding. My ds was very useless at feeding and at 20 days was diagnosed with pyloric stenosis. This involved two nights in our local hospital with medical staff continually questioning me on how many ounces and bottles he usually had a day and what type of milk he was on and I felt like I was being really awkward by breastfeeding. After we were transferred to another hospital so that he could be operated on he was nil by mouth and after alot of asking and several hours wait I was finally provided with a breastpump. I wanted to keep the expressed milk in case he needed to be tube fed afterwards but was told that nowadays bottles and breastpumps didn't need to be sterilised and was assured that warm water alone would be sufficient. And then somebody suggested that as we hadn't breastfed for nearly a week it would be a good time to switch to bottles (I really need an eye-rolling icon).

I don't know how you could bring up the subject of breastfeeding with pregnant ladies or new Mums but I know that I was inspired by every doctor, midwife, health visitor etc who told me they had breastfed. I think the most subtle way I was asked was "Have you thought about how you want to feed this baby?"

Lucy

OMG! I'm so sorry about the length of that comment.

V.

Babies don't need "help" to sleep through the night. It is the parents who want them to sleep because it is more comfortable (and yes, I agree, it is more comfortable - we could now open a debate on the pros and cons of co-sleeping, but let's not change subjects).
Yes, they sleep longer with formula - and that's because it is harder to digest, so their little tummies are hard at work all that "extra time". To the extent that, from what I've read, the liver of a formula-fed baby is 1/3 larger than that of a breastfed baby. Now I'd love to hear from another (reliable) source if that is truly the case.

As for dolls coming with breasts... well, I've never heard of a mum having to buy herself a set, so why should little girls need to? And Lucy, I loved the story about your son lifting his t-shirt!

Clare Wilson

Hi V. Yes, I totally acknowledge that it is my comfort I am thinking of and not the baby's. That is allowed, isn't it, to consider the mother's needs too?

I'm not saying that would influence me to switch to formula before 6 months, as I believe the baby's health is more important than my sleep. But I do wish the "lactivists" out there would be a bit more honest and realistic about parents' needs sometimes. It is comments like that, suggesting that it is terribly self-centred to want the "comfort" of them sleeping through the night that put people off the whole lactivism thing...

Anyway, best wishes
Clare

Shannon

I'm a bit late to this conversation, but I do want to pipe up that when I was planning for my first (adopted) baby, I scanned adoptive breast-feeding info and decided it really wasn't for me (many good reasons). But when it came to choosing a formula, I KNEW I wanted organic (no hormones, no antibiotics, no pesticide traces) and I had a HELL of a time finding it.

The market seems to have caught up a bit (though at exhorbitant prices) now that I have my second baby. But I was kind of annoyed that there was a silence around which formula might be BETTER than another one, because people concerned with babies' health were so busy chanting "breast is best!" And they all say formula is all the same because it's regulated so tightly by the government. But it isn't the same because organic is really different and if my kids weren't getting breast milk I wanted the BEST formula.

Don't know if that translates to advice. Maybe just to say that if you are to talk about it with a woman, you might say something about there being choices in formula for better or worse. (Some of those choices might be ethical/political too--like avoiding companies that advertise or send free samples to Africa or something. My formula company doesn't do that either.)

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