Parenting Tip #10537 - Do not, if you can avoid it, try to toilet-train an unready child on the autistic spectrum at the time that your other child is in the one-and-a-bit-years-old more-mobility-than-sense into-everything stage, particularly not if this also happens to coincide with a time when work is in its busiest season and you are also spending tiresome amounts of time sorting out the fallout of a recent car accident.
We could not, unfortunately, avoid it, or at least not if we wanted Jamie to have a reasonable stab at avoiding being the exception to that supposedly reassuring thing people say to parents struggling with toilet training about how they Never Start Big School In Nappies, After All. So, for the past four weeks, huge amounts of our time have been taken up with trying to persuade Jamie to leave what he's doing and come and sit on the toilet, and with playing games with him or singing songs to keep him entertained while he's there (the 'Coat of Many Colours' song from Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat has proved particularly popular - I always knew my obsessive memorising of the entire long list of colours would find an appreciative audience some day), and with watching him like a hawk so we can notice quickly when he wets himself and send him straight to the toilet in hopes that it'll strengthen the connection in his mind, and with mopping up puddles, and with doing extra laundry. Since huge amounts of time is something we don't actually have, this means life is, currently, reaching new dimensions of exhaustion.
I will post again. Someday. But I may be gone for some time.
My only suggestion for toilet training is the "A cookie for an accident" rule. That is, if a parent has to clean up an accident, that parent gets a cookie (or a cup of nice tea, or whatever instant treat suits your fancy). We started doing this when we found it hard not to get frustrated at another silly mess; if I could channel my thoughts into "well, at least I get a cookie" rather than "my lazy son has once again piddled on the floor" I could more easily show the calm patience I felt appropriate.
Of course, maybe you have no problems reaching that calm patience without the aid of chocolate chips :-) I am a very lesser mortal.
Posted by: Beth | Saturday, January 31, 2009 at 07:06
Granny Constance is very proud of Jamie and his Mum and Dad. It will work....hard to believe but really truly it will work. Solidarity.
Posted by: Granny Constance | Saturday, January 31, 2009 at 23:59
My oldest actually did start school in diapers - so never say never! His teacher was very nice about the whole thing. He wouldn't use the toilet until age 5 (though it was clear that he had total control). Wishing you all the best of luck in this endeavor!
Posted by: Kay | Sunday, February 01, 2009 at 14:50
Meh, Matilda was thiiiis close to being the exception. She only potty trained in October and is still getting the hand og using the toilet as opposed to the potty. She's supposed to start School this coming September. And she's a girl, and not on the Autistic Spectrum. I HATE potty training.
Posted by: Anna | Monday, February 02, 2009 at 13:30
I don't have any suggestions on potty training, as my daughter is only 14 months old and we have not yet started that. But I just discovered this blog, and loved reading through some of your earlier posts. So I am glad to see you're still posting!
Good luck with the little guy!
Posted by: Lisa | Monday, February 02, 2009 at 19:24